We talked about the word "equanimity" in the last blog. Having the ability to not react to what is happening to us, but watch it. Having a little distance between what is happening to you and YOU is healthy.
When I was little and came home crying because life was unfair and things weren't going my way, I remember my mother asking me to go to my room and get my Yo-Yo. Not understanding why, but trusting my mother, I did. She had me put it on my finger and asked me to make it go up and down. She had me do this for a few minutes and then she said, "Brenda, life is like a Yo-Yo, it is constantly going up and down; one minute things will be going your way and the next they won't. The nature of life is ever changing. Now, you can go on the ride like that Yo-Yo in your hand and be happy when things are going your way, and sad when they aren't and be a victim to the ups and downs, OR you can be the finger holding the Yo-Yo and simply watch it go up and down because that's what a Yo-Yo does." It was her way of teaching me about equanimity and accepting the ups and downs as part of the ever- changing nature of life. The fertility journey is filled with ups and downs, its just part of the journey.
Start to notice when you are resisting this process, where you are adding your own judgment, feelings of anger or inadequacy to the information you are getting. Notice where you are attaching to the outcome and allowing yourself to be devastated when it doesn't work the way you think it should. See if you can take yourself off the Yo-Yo and become the finger, by watching the process without judgment.
Like my Yoga class where I stopped reacting to the discomfort of the pose and started to breathe into the discomfort and watch it, see if you can give yourself a little "breathing room" when you are stressed or overwhelmed.
When you feel out of control like the up and down Yo-Yo, close your eyes and watch your breath. When you inhale, let yourself be filled from the bottom of your tailbone up to the top of your collarbones. When you exhale, keep the space you created inside and just soften any tension in your body around this space, releasing your need to grip and hold yourself safe. Allow yourself to breathe, and watch your breath, like the Yo-Yo going up and down inside your body. Become the finger holding the string and notice how much more able you are to "be with" the changes inside and outside as you breathe. This is the beginning of being able to manage life's ups and downs and learn how to cultivate "equanimity."
Next time, we will learn the ancient Yogic "Breath of Victory" or "Conquerors Breath" which will help empower you to manage your stress.
Brenda Strong Archive
Spring 2009 - "Brenda's Blog, Equanimity, Part One"
Winter 2009 - "Brenda's Blog, Winter, Part One"
Fall 2008 - "Boosting Fertility Naturally"