Last month I invited you to take a vow and go on a journey with me. I mentioned that this journey, starts with a breath. "Every new life starts with an in breath, as it's an invitation to life to fill us."
But what if we feel full already? And empty at the same time?
Trying to have a baby can fill us with doubt, pain and sadness. We have a reminder every month that we are falling short of our goal, and with it comes a whole slew of insults to ourselves because we have another failed cycle or the economy is not helping us plan for IVF and our clock is ticking, or we just plain feel overwhelmed with the choices or for some, the apparent lack of choices. It's hard to know how to start to manage our emotions when they pull us in so many directions at once. Not having what we desire can leave us feeling empty and filled with anxiety at the same time.
The only thing we can really manage is our reaction to what is happening. The old adage, "stress is not what happens to you, it's your reaction to what happening to you" is true. What you need, is to be able to create some "breathing room" between what's happening to you and YOU.
When I was a new Yoga student I would be in the middle of a really hard pose, sweating, in excruciating pain, my face would be contorted, my breath came in grunts and I was fighting what I was going through to the point that I was struggling. The teacher would say "if you resist what's happening you are going to suffer, scrunching up your face is not going to make the pose any easier! Breathe, watch, observe what's happening and don't attach to it." All of a sudden the concept of breathing became a lifeline between having the experience and watching the experience. If I focused on my breath, the only moment that was real, that I had to deal with, was this moment, this breath. And one breath at a time, 90 minutes would go by, my body would open, my mind would quiet and I would make it. Was my body still filled with the discomfort of stretching beyond where I was comfortable? Yes. Was I suffering anymore? No.
In Yoga we call this "equanimity." It is the ability to experience something that is causing us a lot of discomfort physically, mentally and emotionally and not react to it. Learning to breathe into what is happening to us releases the tension and stress of the experience. Go ahead-give it a try! The worst thing that can happen is that you'll breathe a little deeper.
Brenda Strong Archive
Winter 2009 - "Brenda's Blog, Winter, Part One"
Fall 2008 - "Boosting Fertility Naturally"